Sharing Secrets With The Wall

   Today started in the usual way.... wake up to the overly cheery chimes of the alarm, growl like a wounded animal while glaring "i hate you" looks at said alarm, climbing out of bed and stumbling blurry eyed into the bathroom without turning on the light because as the vampires would say, "The light! It burns!"

   Except that is where typical ended for me today. Apparently today I was a bit blurrier than usual...
   I reached for the knob on the bathroom door and couldn't find it. Assuming my aim was just a bit off, I lowered my hand. Still no knob. Okay, so I must have been too low rather than too high. I run my hand up and up and up. By now my hand is near my shoulder and still no knob. Somehow how my still too tired brain realizes that it would be silly for the knob to be anywhere near my shoulder. So naturally I slide my hand back down, groping in the dark for the knob. Up, down, up, down, left, right, in a circle, perpendicular, frontways, backways, and sideways. No knob. I start to grow slightly panicky as I wonder what could have happened to the stupid doorknob. In frustration I place my left hand on the wall next to me so I can lean against the wall and ponder this issue. My left hand grazes a bit of cold metal. It was the doorknob, hanging right where it should be.... on the door. On the door that was a step and a half to my left. The door that I had managed to overshoot in my overtired, not ready to wake up, blurry eyed state. I squint at the wall in front of me. The wall that I had frantically been rubbing for two minutes in search of a knob and mutter, "We will speak of this to no one."